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Suicide & Fear of Failure

I’m trying to wrap my head around the rising cases of suicides. Then again maybe they’re not increasing it’s that we’re getting to hear of them more because of social media? I try to imagine the state of mind such people must be in to conclude that taking their own lives is the best solution. To not have any hope in life or anything to look forward to is something many of us may not understand and hopefully never have to understand. It is extremely sad and disheartening to see children as young as ten years committing suicide.There are many reasons why people result to such extreme measures and I would like to dive into some first; Failure and Self Hate. Let’s talk about failure.

Whether consciously or subconsciously we have been brought up fearing failure. Everything we’re taught pegs towards success. “When you work hard in school you’ll have the best life. A good job after University, then you’ll have a family and build a home.” There is nothing wrong with that except we’re not prepared for what may happen in between, the rejections, the disappointments, that life is not a smooth ride.

You may not go to the high school you want but make the best out of your time in the one you end up in. Your high school grade may not be what you needed to get into the University of your dreams or to pursue your dream career but you can always change or start from a lower level. Next you finish your undergraduate/diploma/certificate then you start applying for jobs, one year is gone you’re still at home, 2nd, 3rd,4th and so on. You’re hell bent on getting a job because that was the plan, the only plan you’ve been taught to believe all your life. Then you look at your former schoolmates, current friends and their lives are moving on with good jobs, some getting married, travelling all over, you know, the lush lives people portray on Social Media. It’s very easy to get carried away by these and to top it all off the pressure of societal expectations. And yes some people are lucky enough to get jobs straight out of university and actually live the life portrayed but the reality is, all our paths and journeys are different but we’ll all have those low points in our lives where we’ll have failed.

Life isn’t perfect. You’re bound to have some highs and lows and sometimes some really low lows. Our society and school systems vilify FAILURE. So when some people get to such low points it becomes hard for them to see beyond the failure. They feel like they don’t deserve to live, or don’t have what it takes to get out of it or simply just feel like they are a disgrace to society and the only solution is death. Failing is not the end, it’s just a bump on the road. The journey isn’t over. The worst thing you could do at this point in your life is to continue living in that moment of sorrow, of despair, of sadness. It’s not going to be easy getting up, dusting off and soldiering on but you will have to. You’ll have moments where people will not come through for you the way you expect them to. That doesn’t necessarily make them bad people or bad friends. Try your best not to entertain such thoughts. If you could look within people’s hearts you’d be surprised the things they are going through behind those bright and happy faces. Don’t rush to judge.

Don’t subscribe to the norm of always looking for someone or somewhere to place the blame. It’s a waste of time. Whatever happened happened, period. The most important question is, “What is the way forward?” Much of what happens in and around you depends on how you choose to look at things. Your perspective. You have to push yourself sometimes. Do what your heart pleases. Don’t think too much about the consequences, you’ll deal with them later. Do not fear failing. Go make that dream of yours come true. Believe in it. No one else has to. Be prepared for anything. You may loose your money, your house, literally everything and you know what? That is okay, but, don’t lose yourself. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Even when things seem so bleak, there is always a way out. Failure will always be part of life. I bet life would be boring without it. Where would you get those stories you like reminiscing with your loved ones of how you once were broke in your life? You’ll appreciate the highs more because of those lows.

Our duty as a society is to cultivate a culture of accepting that Failure is a part of life and it shouldn’t define anyone. Accepting Failure doesn’t mean we live in it, We accept it and move on. Never forget that every problem, every mistake, every challenge, has a solution.

Watch out for part 2 on Self Hate

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